Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My crazy life; a glimpse.

Hello world! So I was sittin at the computer tonight doin my thang ya know trollin on facebook and linkup and lord knows what else tryin to find chicks (yeah that's what old, decroded 33 yr olds do on the average wednesday night)by the way is "decroded" a word? Anyways as I was acessing the state of my pitiful existence, I realized I hadn't written on the old blog in a while. Now when I say a while I mean it's been a damn long time.! In fact I had comments on there from July that I didn't even know were on there from people I havn't heard from in years, so I apologize for not responding. Anyhow the world has completely flipped in the last eight or so months since I updated this. Let's see, we have a new president, our economy is in the crapper, Britney Spears got her shi(I love only saying part of the swear word) together, and American Idol now has four(4) judges! What the hell! How Paula Abdul still has a job anywhere is such a mystery to me. That broad is one crazy pill away from the loony bin and she's prob makin 25 times my salary. So I'm watchin the show the last two nights and it's just crackin me up. The best is the retards who actually think they're good and then get all butt-hurt when the judges tell them they suck. That's hilarious to me. I did feel bad tonight when this one social misfit with a haircut like Harry's from "Dumb and Dumber"came out to quote prove to his mom that he could sing and did belong there close quote, and made a complete assclown out of himself. I mean some of these boners need to tape themselves singing, then play it back in a quiet place and hopefully realize they're no good, and maybe, just maybe, decide that showcasing their trainwreck of lives on a national stage is probably a bad idea. Of course if that show's format was just all good people the entire time maybe it would get old I don't know I'm not one of the judges. Well at least not yet, shit,who knows what'll happen. So new prez, new Brittney(which personally I'm very thankful for because I don't want the future mother of my children to be a crazy, bald gal, and I don't think that's being picky. but I digress....)so yeah new prez, new Britt, new Idol and what else oh yeah new Brad makeout stories! You asked for em and you got em. So man where to start theres just so many to choose from, wow, well let's see um there was the Mandy/Monica debacle, and there was Sara on the cruise, and there was Rachel on the first cruise back in may(those cruises are a goldmine for all you single folks out there, seriously!) and let's see there was a couple of chicks JD and I met at a club one night, well we didn't meet them there we met up with them but you get the point. So theres prob a couple more but let's talk about Mandy. So I'd like to share with you why I'm an idiot. So I met this girl named Mandy and I really liked her. Now those of you who know me know that I'm super smooth with the ladies and that I never do anything that I would later regret. That was a joke! Ok so I met this girl and I informed her that I liked her and we started dating. So far so good.  After a few dates she informed me that she "likes" me but is not nessesarily ready for a boyfriend. No that's not it I think her exact words were "I don't wnt a boyfriend". Ok well most smart people would say thank you and go about their business with there tail between their legs right? Not me. Now I'm not the most ambitious guy but every once in  great while I get a wild hair up you know where and I don't take no for an answer and this was one of those times. I think President Benson called it pride but i could be wrong. Anyhow she genuinely did want to continue dating and since we had mutual friends we continued to hang out and our nights usually ended with me trying to score her and her politely declining multiple times( I told you I'm persistant). But everything was good , she got me and  she wanted to date but just not seriously. So we continued in our stalemate for a few weeks and thats when we get to the good stuff. So we decided to all(me, her and a group of friends)go to mandy's hometown for an end of summer party that her town has. Prior to going Mandy took me aside and emphasized to me that she did not want me to act like her boyfriend at all. She didn't want me to hold her hand or act affectionate at all(I'm kinda bad at the pda)(and by bad I mean good I do it alot). Now as point of clarification we were dating mutually and we had kissed but she had made it clear that she was a slow mover in the relationship arena and was not ready for a boyfriend. Ok so we go to Ferron which is the town she's from to go to this party/demolition derby that her town puts on. So we got there rather early in the day to watch the BYU game and there was another group of her friends there that  I had not met. Well as per her wishes I stayed away and was not flirtatious with her which is what I thought she wanted, but keep in mind I really liked this girl alot. So long story short I met some new people and specifically some new girls and over the course of the day and evening we all became friends. In the course of our time together I found myself giving some girls back massages and other times we were all laying around downstairs talking and it was at this point that Mandy's mother found me in a bed with three of the girls and we were talking. Now it was innocent and we were just getting to know each other and what better way to do so than cuddling with three girls on some strange bed. Anyhow Mandy's mom saw this and kinda just stared awkwardly for a few moments then left. Now retrospectively I can imagine that if you see some guy who you think likes your daughter in your house in a bed with three girls who are not your daughter and your already quite old fashioned in your values as it is this would be a queer situation( i'm using the old version of this word people). Well a smart man would have gotten up and tried to defuse the situation by explaining to the girl he likes the complete context of what had happened, but A) I'm not a smart man, and 2) damn if I wasn't extremely comfortable. So it should come as no surprise that a few minutes later Mandy poked her head in the room for a brief second then left. Now not to be repetitive but I should have gone after her and explained. I didn't. In fairness to me, mine is not a life of frequent trysts to strange beds with multiple women so judge me gently. And frankly, if I can be so, I didn't really feel bad because she was rejecting me. I would have preferred to be laying in a bed with her cuddling, but it was not to be so and as such I found the next best thing. So it was time to go to bed and we were all scattered around the house and I decided to sleep in this room with these girls as there was another bed in the room. A bit later after going down for the night one of Mandy's other friends came into the room and asked to speak to me. She informed me in a fairly harsh tone that I was a bonehead and Mandy was hurt and upset.  I sarcastically thanked her and went back to bed. Well after a while my smart side kicked in and I felt some remorse for hurting her because remember I really liked her. So I went to her room and quietly went in. I called her name and after what seemed like an eternity she said "what do you want". Ouch! Paradigm shifts are funny, one moment I'm ready to beg for forgiveness and grovel for scraps and then one little statement in the wrong tone and it's on. Now I had never been cross with Mandy prior to this and I don't pride myself on fighting with people, especially females, but let's just say we had a go. Well it comes to my attention that Mandy has told her family that we were dating and that i like her, which is news to me after the very specific talking to she gave me prior to coming, in the which she clearly stated that I was not to in any way act like i liked her, if that makes sense? So she is embarrassed for herself and me because now her family thinks I'm some big jerk and player, and apparently I'm some sort of jigalo cause I'm in bed with three women. Hell I wish. JK. So we hash it out for a bit and I'm pretty forceful in my view that she drove me to the arms of another womens( i know it doesn't make sense but remember there was three of em)lol I crack me up! so I don't know if it was the masculinity of standing up for myself or she wanted me to just shut up, or if she was just horny(pardon my manness) but the events that followed were completely unexpected. Mandy asked me to stop talking and come closer to where she was on the bed. Now we had kissed a few times but we had never made out because she didn't do that unless she was in a relationship. Well i got on the bed by her and as I looked into her eyes she suddenly jumped me. Now the passionate kissfest that followed was, I'll have to say one of my best ever. You know that lightheaded, woosy feeling one gets from things like oh say winning an award or doing a good deed or a delicious cheesy gordita crunch, that was how I felt! Now we made out for quite a while and it was magical.We prob could have gone for awhile longer but I told her we needed to stop, mostly cause I was gettin pretty hot and bothered, and men don't exactly make the best decisions in this frame of mind. At least I don't. Well I said goodnight and went back to bed. 
Well the moral of this story brothers and sisters, is that in the face of adversity stick to your guns and argue! Argue your ass off to the point they just want you to shut up and kiss em. Well things did not end Disney like with myself and the sweet princess Mandy. After returning to bed to retire for the evening I was greeted by the tempting comfort of one of Mandy's "friends" who was in the room where we were sleeping. This friend just happened to be wearing a "Hooter's" tank top and some booty shorts and let's just say she was not ugly. Well I'm a strong man, aw hell who we kiddin, I'm not strong at all and well I crawled into bed with her. This was brought to Mandy's attention, and combined with some other things and time we drifted apart. Am I proud? Retrospectively, Hell yeah I am! Well that was quite a few moons ago, and I like to think I'm a better man for my experiences but I can't be sure. 
Well i'm tired and I think I'm gonna yata hey, I think that's how ya spell it. I appreciate your ears or in this case eyes and I promise I'll put more on here more frequently. I do want all my friends and family to know that I love them and enjoy the relationships we have. Peace out for the time being.

12 comments:

The Happenin' Harwards said...

You crack me up! The best part is that I can totally hear your voice in your writing. I don't know how proud of the fact that you made out with like 4 girls in one story you should be, but dang Gina, would you catch one and get married already, we need some cousins round here:)

Insight Exhibits said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Insight Exhibits said...

Wow.... I think you should have atleast changed the names of those involved. Or maybe a disclaimer: Parts of this story may or may not be true.

Play on player....

The Happenin' Harwards said...

Mom says "Have you ever heard of bad karma?" This post could be the reason you coincidentally wrecked your car today! Does Mandy know you posted this? MOM

Reeses Pieces said...

Only you can get away with this story and have people laughing so hard at it.

The Crazy Clawson's said...

ok brad, are you serious...my friends read this....oh well... nice touch to the story about the taco bell crunch....i love that you are relating it to food...could you be any crazier. at least the two girls didn't have coldsores

Lori said...

heelloooo brad... i love that your sister directs all her friends to your site for some good 'ole fashioned trashy stories. jk.. it's been a long time... hope you are doing well!

hatcherdogg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hatcherdogg said...

better....


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Lindsay said...

Wow...That is all I have to say! Brad...I thought you had turned a new leaf :) I can't beleive you!!!!!...Wait, yes I can. Why am I not shocked?? :) Kiddin...I FELT the awkwardness about the mom walking in on you in the bed with three other girls. Guess who I pictured? My MOM walking in. Can you imagine if Cynthia walked in with you snuggled up with Juls and I (in our single days)??? WOW...the madness.

Amber said...

I love this! I'm going to keep reading... I'm in my corner at work, laughing out loud!

Ty Lyman said...

I don't think you've changed a bit. Very expressive in your words by the way.