Monday, April 12, 2010

Some old stuff i wrote

March 07
Jack Bauer-Immortal
I'm not gonna lie to ya, I love the TV show 24! It's one of those guilty pleasures in life that I take full advantage of. I can't think of much better in life than sittin' on my duff watchin' my boy Jack Bauer avoid death and dismememberment once an episode over a 24 hour day (That's 24 episodes for the less informed out there). Man that guy has more lives than a cat, fifty cent, and Osama Bin Laden all rolled into one. I guess it dosn't hurt that he produces the show as well. Here's the thing though, if all that shit happened to you in one day, and you survived, wouldn't you pretty much never go back to that job EVER again? Now I'm a patriot, and I love America as much as the next guy, and no I don't like nuclear fallout/chemical weapons/smelly terrorists, but damn let someone else save the world Jack, you paid your dues.
Another thing I love about 24 and specifically CTU or Counter Terrorism Unit-Los Angeles, is the comradery of its workers/employees. Now I've worked some cruddy jobs before and I've had some crappy, knuckleheaded coworkers before, but this group takes the beefcake. They will sell each other out for 2 pieces of silver and a chalupa! In this fictional realm they are pretty much the last line of defense for not just LA, but for pretty much the entire country. With that being said, wouldn't you think that they would maybe try and be a team. I mean these people are ruthless to each other. Chloe, the crazy ass red head who bites the head off of a guy she slept with the night before, would probably be the terrorist if she wasn't working for CTU(well there's always next season). This broad gets mad at you if you bought her lunch and told her she was pretty. Then ya have my man Edgar, 400 lbs of lisp lovin action. The guy can crack code, develop software to a video game, and eat a steak all at the same time. But ask him to have friendly conversation with anyone and he short circuits. Then theres Rudy aka samwise aka the retarded brother in 50 first dates aka Sean Astin as The step in head of CTU from Corporate. This guy is as paranoid as a mouse in a snake pit. Nothin's sucks more than a boss who micromanages you to the point of choppin off your leg, well I guess if he's five foot nothin that makes it worse. And finally there's President Charles Logan, this guy couldn't be president of a bag full of retards. He looks like he's gonna cry when ever he has to make a descision. "Hey President do you want paper or plastic"? "Um uh er a wahhhhhhhhhhhh". You little bitch! Man if I was President, and terrorists told me they were gonna blow stuff up or release nerve agents into the air, I'd climb through that phone and pimp slap that terrorist all the way to guantanamo bay.
Well that was my vitriolic rant about some of the inticacies of the show 24, tune in next time as Jack Bauer ties a terrorist into a pretzel and Edgar Stiles eats him while having internet relations with a 17 year old asian kid.

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